Behind teal green Eyes
by Errol's Feather
Summary: No one knows what it's like to be the bad woman, to be the sad woman behind teal green eyes... My own version of the song Behind blue eyes.


**_DISCLAIMER: _**I don't own Harry Potter and I don't make any money from it; everything belongs to J.K. Rowling. I don't own the song Behind Blue Eyes, Limp Bizkit does. I do however own this idea.

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><p><em><strong>Behind teal green eyes.<strong>_

Minerva looked at her fellow student. They were all hanging around in the Gryffindor common room doing nothing at all. Or rather nothing school related. Her eye was searching the room making sure everyone was okay. She sighed deeply when she saw Wolfric Henderson. He was having a very intimate conversation with a girl names Sara Hagen. She was blushing slightly over something she said.

Not long ago that had been Minerva, but only until she found out what he was really like, then she had told him to leave her along. That however didn't change the fact that they lived in the same house and took the same classes.

"Minerva," she heard her friend Juliet say.

"Sorry Jules, what did you say," said Minerva turning to face her.

"Do you have the notes for transfiguration?" she asked again, as she had been sick and missed the class just that day.

Minerva put aside the book she had been reading, went through her pages, found the ones Juliet requested for and said, "Here."

Julie frowned and said, "All that."

"Yes, although could have made more notes, but didn't have time…" Minerva said, her eyes no longer on Juliet, but on Wolfric. He was kissing Sara, on her grounds. The nerves.

Juliet looked at her friend and said, "Are you okay?"

"Yes, I'm fine," said Minerva, shaking it off. He didn't deserve seeing her broken hearted, no one did.

"Are you sure?" she asked, still worried.

"I'm fine, absolutely fine," she said, mastering to fake a smile to make that statement more believable.

Sara nodded and said, "Well thanks; you'll have the papers back before dinner."

Minerva nodded; slowly she walked towards her room, thinking that she hated to lie like this. Especially as her friends could see right through it every time, she knew they hated to see her like this. Broken, being forced to lie. She just wanted to forget it all, move on, but that was truly impossible as he was everywhere. She hated what he had reduced her too, forcing her to face smile, hiding how she felt, and play strong while he wasn't even affected by what he had done. She sighed closing the door to her bedroom to be alone. Solitude was the only comfort she had. At least until her roommate Jo came back.

Minerva looked at her fellow students, everyone seemed to have found a companion. Everyone, but herself that was. She had not gotten involved with anyone since Wolfric and seeing the other happy couples on the Hogwarts grounds made her ache inside. She wanted that, to be happy, to have someone, someone that she could maybe share her future with. As she hurried to the dormitory in the Gryffindor tower a tear ran down her cheek, was it really too much to ask for. To be happy and unconcerned. To dream about someone riding in on a white horse and sweep her up her feet. She wasn't sure if she deserved it or not, but she knew she wanted it. Sighing she opened to door and went inside, wondering where there was a handsome knight on a white horse or maybe a stunning wizard on a broomstick when you needed one.

Minerva looked over at Dougal, he was ploughed the field with his horses Buzz and Betsie, both brown with black mane and tails, big and strong. She was sitting on the side watching him. Seeing how the sweat was running down his naked upper body in the heat. Her eyes were lingering with desire. She smiled as he spotted her and came over to her.

"Babe, what are you doing here?" he said, smiling warmly at her.

Minerva giggled happily answering, "Well my book got boring and I wanted to see you, I'm not interrupting your work am I?"

"Of course not, there is a good thing you came by as there was something I wanted to ask you about," he said and sat down next to her.

"Really, what's that?" she said, looking at him with curious eyes.

"I know we haven't been together for very long, but I really do love you Minerva, so I think what I am trying to say is would you become my wife?" he asked, thinking it was stupid, all things considered. Yet he did manage to produce a ring from his pocket.

"Oh Dougal, yes, yes, I would like that very much," she said as happy tears started to fall from her eyes.

"You sure," he said, smiling happily, treading the ring on her slender finger, it was a perfect fit.

"Of course I am, oh my Gosh, I have to tell mother and father at once," she said, getting up. She however didn't leave him before giving him a very long series of kisses.

It was an overjoyed Minerva that moments later walked into the manse where her family lived. She was just about to give them the good news when she could hear her parents quarrel in the living room. She poked her head in looking at Isobel and Robert McGonagall. They were on the edge of starting to yell at each other, they however never did just that, out of consideration for their children.

Robert said something to his wife, which she responded to then hurried past Minerva up the stairs. In the distance she could hear the door to their bedroom slam shut upstairs. Minerva looked at her father that asked, "What?"

"Nothing…it was nothing," she whispered, going back outside. She sighed heavily as she walked over to the church where her father worked that was close by. Inside she sat down on one of the benches. Her happiness was being pushed aside by frustrated tears knowing she the next day would have to break off the engagement. She hated it, and she hated her parents for not being honest with each other. If they had been she maybe wouldn't have to be in this mess right now.

The fact was that Isobel McGonagall was a witch and a very good one as such. She however had kept it a secret for Robert for as long as she had known him, making her unhappy. She just couldn't bring herself to tell him the truth considering he was a reverend and that wouldn't look good. Minerva knew that if she would continue her relationship with Dougal she would have to do the same as he could never know about her being a witch or that she worked at the ministry, which would cause a great risk for both.

"Why couldn't I have him," she whispered, looking up at the ceiling as she was talking to the lord himself. She might not believe in the Lord himself, but that there was a greater power up there she found highly possible. She curled up on the church bench continuing to cry, at that very second she wished she was a muggle and not a half-blood, that way she could have kept her beloved Dougal, but no.

"Not fair," she whispered, heartbroken, head in her hands, knowing she only had one option and that was the one she didn't want.

Early the next morning Minerva found her Dougal in the barn, he was tending to the animals as he usually did. She walked over to him, hugging him from behind, hiding his face in his backside. As she dragged in all that he was she wished things was different.

"Hey sweetheart," he said in a very loving tone, his hands reaching back for her.

"Hi, we need to talk," she whispered, uttering the words she didn't want to.

"I'm listening," he said in a calm tone.

"I…I… can't go through with it after all, I want to, but I can't," she whispered, her voice hardly audible.

"But why, don't you love me after all?" he said, feeling rather confused.

"I do, with all my heart, it's just, I have to go away because of work and well I can't," she whispered again.

"Minerva, sweetheart, please don't do this," he said, now turning to face her.

"I'm sorry, but I have no other choice," she said, struggling with all her might to keep her tears back. Slowly she removed her ring and gave it back to him.

Dougal shook his head and said, "It's yours, keep it, if nothing else as a memory of me. I really do wish things were different Minerva."

"As do I, I have to go," she said, bending in to kiss him, holding onto him with dear life.

As they slowly broke free he whispered, "I'll always love you."

"And I you," she whispered back, hurrying away as the tears fell from her eyes. She didn't want this, not in any way. As she entered the manse she saw her mother cleaning the living room by the use of magic. She always did that when her father wasn't present.

Minerva dried her tears, making her state less obvious as she said, "Hi."

"Minerva, did you just come from Dougal," her mother requested.

"Yes," said Minerva without elaborating.

Her mother looked at her with a frown saying, "You two are okay aren't you?"

Minerva nodded, before going upstairs to her bedroom, crying her heart out. She wanted him so badly. She wanted to be his wife, to have everything, to have a future with him. At that very moment she hated what she was born into more than anything else. She couldn't been granted what she wanted the most because of the path she had chosen. It just wasn't fair, not at all.

Minerva looked at the grounds of Hogwarts, or what was left of the once mighty school, her home, and the place she loved so much. Taking it all in. She felt like she had lost everything, not only Dougal and her late husband, but her home, and there were no words making up for that.

It was gone, or so it felt, yet she didn't cry. She didn't show one tread of emotion, until she was later alone in one of the class rooms. She couldn't bring herself to leave the place, not even now.

She sank down on a cheer, feeling defeated and crushed beyond everything. Tears falling from her teal green eyes, there was no point holding them back now that she was along. Among others she needed to be the strong one, the brave one, the one that held it all together, but not now. Now her true emotions were let out to the open.

No one would ever be allowed to see how she really felt; no one could ever tell how great of an impact the many heartaches had had on her. No one could ever see even the slight glimmer of emotions in her teal green eyes. Because she wouldn't let them.

She was the strong one, the one that could take everything, and every emotion she might have regarding everything was well hidden behind her teal green eyes.

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><p>Feedback always welcome and very much appreciated :o)<p> 


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